Group of friends on a hike living the gluten-free lifestyle during the daytime laughing.

Gluten-Free Lifestyle: Jokes and Puns

This one is for all of our gluten-free peeps out there! Living the gluten-free lifestyle can definitely be a pain in the butt (pun intended). Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself and not take life so seriously. So, here is a collection of jokes, puns, and lifestyle references for all of you out there living gluten-free and need some comedic relief. Hope you enjoy!

Responses for when people say, “Come on, is a little bit of gluten really going to hurt you?”

  • Gee, I don’t know…would a little bit of laxative hurt you?
  • Sure, right after you take a swig of gasoline. Let me know how that goes.
  • Listen, in a few minutes, you’re going to wish I hadn’t eaten the gluten either.
  • It will literally make my insides bleed but you’re right…no big deal.

Things that drive celiacs crazy:

  • “The gluten-free diet is just a fad”
  • “Can’t you just take off the bun?”
  • When it’s marked gluten-reduced but also has a disclaimer that says “may contain wheat” (and the whole gluten-free VS gluten reduced debacle)
  • When a person who is not gluten-free takes the last GF cookie.
  • Contaminating your toaster with something containing gluten.

The gluten-free lifestyle:

  • Life is like a picnic….no really…it’s always a picnic because you have to bring your food everywhere you go
  • Pre-eating before parties in case there aren’t gluten-free options
  • Asking for a gluten-free menu at restaurants and getting a sassy look from the waiter
  • Sometimes you just starve because hunger is better than being glutened
  • The panic that sets in when you realize you’ve been glutened
  • At least holiday weight gain is minimal! On account of gluten being in everything and your diet doesn’t really change that much
  • Wishing there was a gluten-free dating site (there actually is – check it out: Gluten-Free Singles)
  • Suddenly developing a love of wine

Puns:

  • Eat bread? Never a grain.
  • Gluten sensitivities are a pain in the butt.
  • Where do you feel your gluten-sensitivity? From bread to toe.

The Classic Knock-Knock:

  • – Knock Knock
    – Who’s there?
    – Your gluten-intolerance. No time for a punch line, better find a bathroom QUICK!