This one is for all of our gluten-free peeps out there! Living the gluten-free lifestyle can definitely be a pain in the butt (pun intended). Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself and not take life so seriously. So, here is a collection of jokes, puns, and lifestyle references for all of you out there living gluten-free and need some comedic relief. Hope you enjoy!
Responses for when people say, “Come on, is a little bit of gluten really going to hurt you?”
- Gee, I don’t know…would a little bit of laxative hurt you?
- Sure, right after you take a swig of gasoline. Let me know how that goes.
- Listen, in a few minutes, you’re going to wish I hadn’t eaten the gluten either.
- It will literally make my insides bleed but you’re right…no big deal.
Things that drive celiacs crazy:
- “The gluten-free diet is just a fad”
- “Can’t you just take off the bun?”
- When it’s marked gluten-reduced but also has a disclaimer that says “may contain wheat” (and the whole gluten-free VS gluten reduced debacle)
- When a person who is not gluten-free takes the last GF cookie.
- Contaminating your toaster with something containing gluten.
The gluten-free lifestyle:
- Life is like a picnic….no really…it’s always a picnic because you have to bring your food everywhere you go
- Pre-eating before parties in case there aren’t gluten-free options
- Asking for a gluten-free menu at restaurants and getting a sassy look from the waiter
- Sometimes you just starve because hunger is better than being glutened
- The panic that sets in when you realize you’ve been glutened
- At least holiday weight gain is minimal! On account of gluten being in everything and your diet doesn’t really change that much
- Wishing there was a gluten-free dating site (there actually is – check it out: Gluten-Free Singles)
- Suddenly developing a love of wine
- Eat bread? Never a grain.
- Gluten sensitivities are a pain in the butt.
- Where do you feel your gluten-sensitivity? From bread to toe.
The Classic Knock-Knock:
- – Knock Knock
– Who’s there?
– Your gluten-intolerance. No time for a punch line, better find a bathroom QUICK!